something's missing

I was wondering if my name just popped in your head, since I've been thinking about you a lot lately
Right now I miss you as much as the starts I can see
Are you doing the same? Missing me?


I was thinking about the times you made me mad
And the times when because of me you were sad
I hope I didn't bring you much pain as I brought you laughter
All of these we could cherish after
When is this wait going to end?
My broken smile, when are you going to mend?
Without your voice everyday seems like a year
Cliche right? But that's the truth my dear
Now I'm just waiting for the day you come
Take me by your arms and say you love me tons
I know(hope) you have the same feeling
Being back together, you and me!

!@#$

Darling I'm afraid I know the ending
This song forever we probably wont sing
I'm afraid that the vision might be true
I might stop saying I love you too
Stop pushing me away
For I might not always be able to stay
Let's take this more seriously
Or else this joke will break us into you and me
I don't know what's gotten in me
The positives why can't I see
We can go through this all along right?
Just say YES and hold me tight
Because the only thing I'm sure about right now is you
I still love you
I hope you do too.

save us

W.T.H

what the hell,i can not put my head to do anything

it's just that one douche 'bout whom i think

i tried hard to forget 'bout us,thinking it was all just a fling

telling myself it was all just crap that you used to sing

you say you're afraid

hell yeah!no surprises out there,cuz you're no man

you never could be the upper hand

you're not called strong by faking it that you’re not sad

it takes hell lot more than that

you were a roller coaster sorta thing for me

took me up and brought me down

asked me t0 come along and then turned around

you taught me how to dream

and then again showed me how they are smashed

that's when i started to scream

stfu,you lame(o)

i didn't want no cars and diao0nds

just for you to aim a happy ending for us

I’m no petty doll,i know life's not a fairy tale

but what the hell

nobody tried dying that's all i wanted to tell

just spitting out those 3 words don't do the magic

baby i know it's tragic

but reality check,love don't keep us alive

we together have to strive

you’re not totally at fault

there are some shits also in my cut

that's when you teach me how we do it

that's when you and i stick

that's when we walk it through

that's when you and i become a crew

that's when we hold on to each other

that's when we wait for the good times,the spring,the flower!

trust me it hurts when you dont

I try to put it all behind me and start fresh,but you keep digging
Even though when i say there is nothing to which i wanna cling
I swear all those pasts, to me not a thing they mean
I say my love is yet to be seen
But you are not even close to ready to trust me
When you say that you fake believe me
Trust me boy it's like in me arrows piercing
I've done everything to let you know i do love you
I don't even know what reason have i given you not to
Every night i cry myself to sleep thinking that
The next day would bring the bright light back
You love me, I know that and you think that makes me alive
But sometimes love is not just enough to survive
Your disbelief hurts me like hell
Your distrusts kills me all the time swear
Just so you know somebody had said that trust is the best proof of true love!

a reason that makes me smile

this is a good feeling

it's good to be just by us,you and me

at last i've fallen in this cliched thing

my heart speeds up double the time

everytime i realize that you'r all mine

that's when you can see my biggest smile

smile,everything you do makes me smile!

i love you

and when you say you do too

there is all this feelings inside me gushing

you can clearly see in and out,me blushing

i don't mind thinking about you all day

going back and forth in my mind about everything you say

day dreaming about our tomorrow

making your frown all my sorrows

you're the one who's captured my heart and head

can't get hold of what others just said

because i was too busy wondering about you

thinking if you were beside what would you do

would you take me by your arms?

or would you tease me, annoy me and then apologise?

would you tell me the joke you heard the other day?

or just  yet, what i feel you'd let me say

yes,this is what you've done to me

anything else,not letting me see

you just don't get off of my head

i'm loosing the battle like you said

I don’t mind though

That’s because I love us so

I want this to last, for the rest of our lives J

breakable yet again!

it was better when i was broken

deep in my sorrows when i was sunken

it was better when i couldn't dream

rather than realise that it's smashed and wake up with a scream

better when i knew nobody was my beside

than know that your promises of always being there is a lie

it was better thinking that i had a luckless romance

rather than trying it again and having the assurance

it was better clinging on to old memories

rather than listening to your fake deeds

something that you wont be doing

like the others you're up just for saying

it's better to be locked up in my room and cry my heart out

rather thank risk it being with you and worry about the doubts

it's better to all day think about him

       rather than be with a replica and remain grim 

        it was better when my heart was broken

       rather than you mending it and yet breaking it      again  

[because break me once shame on thee, break me twice shame on me]

..............

There are so many things that I have in my mind right now. All the things are happening at the same time; good, bad. But the bad things are making me worry about the good things as well,if they are really true and if they are then how long will it be?
you see, that's the problem among most of us. We know we're supposed to live the present forget about the past, not worry much about the future and yada yada yada.But it's hard to follow that path; the same path that we frequently suggest other's to travel.We humans are quite complicated creatures. Well, i can't be that sure about others but i definitely am. When something bad happens to me I'm cursing my fate on why it's always me and why don't i ever get good things (drama queen? i know). when something good happens I'm too busy worrying about loosing it rather than living the moment. I know exactly what to do, I just don't know how.
Right now,I am more than happy. I am well, some what 95% satisfied with my life at the moment.I know that's almost next to impossible but I am. But every time I try to enjoy the moment it suddenly comes to mind that it's too good to be true. Someone teach me how to live and let live :|

Life

Now I know what life is
Not only pain and miseries
But also happiness and laughter
With night and day following after
Sometimes thunder strikes us with pain
And the storm leaves tears and blood stains
But this is just the dark side
After this there is a brighter light
Everything seems so nice
To us the whole world feels fine
We realize that we just have one life
In which we could shine bright
Do not think it is the end when a caterpillar dies
It dies to give out a new butterfly

hope is a synonym of life :D

Grow up

I was clearing up my coop today and and i found this old diary and turning those pages i realized how even i was once the victim of first heart break. All of us have been there, done that. Cliched, I know. It is really dumb and stupid; but to think of it we were nothing but naive dependable. We didn't know what to do and what not to. We had to search for the next steps and the victory is when we grow past that.


It was insane of me to think you and I as us
Now it's time for me to say myself "grow up"
Because you're never coming back


I don't think i can ever like anyone like this
Every time i think about those days I go on a trip
My love is all finished up for others
After you went away i stopped seeing any colors
All i could see was white and black
Everything was sloppy and sad
Why is your name still lingering on my mind?
Why do I get your dreams all the time?
"More of a nightmare" all my friends say
But i simply deny
For it's not only the sad pain you've given me
There are moments that I still cherish
Like my first kiss with you
And all the stupid things that we did do
Just the thought of you makes me high
Thinking about those days I still smile
I tried to give you all my love, pure and divine
But for you it wasn't that fine


It was insane of me to think you and I as us

Now it's time for me to say myself "grow up"

Because you're never coming back

Not again!

I'm on that turning point again
I've been trying to avoid this path
Still trying hard to keep on closing my heart
Because I've been here before
And if I want to come back again, I'm not so sure
It's a long journey
And it's not sure that throughout you're going to be there with me
This very thought makes me shiver

That's why to take a step ahead I quiver
I don't want to be any body's play doll
Not prepared for yet another fall
Because after that it's hard to even crawl
Because this time i want to make it a last call

This is so me

I'm so clueless, totally confused
I've always been this way
With all the other things my heart sway
Right now i can't stand still
Don't even know if I should go for or against my will
Don't know up or down, right or left
Up in my head everything is messed
I've made this mistake before
But Lord knows why i want it again
All of it was only sweet wounds and pain
Still i want it
But then again, I want it far away from me
Not sure if i still can see
Not sure if we could again be
Can i afford to be with you again?
Confused totally
This is so me!

terrified

I'm scared that you'll do something wrong

I'm scared that you might be left alone

I'm scared that i might n0t be there when you fall

I'm scared that you might not get an answer when l call

I'm scared that your heart might hurt

I'm scared that to me some day you might mean nothing m0re than dirt

I'm scared that i might loose interest

I'm scared that you might n0t turn out to be the best

I'm scared that tomorrow you might n0t be the one i prefer

I'm scared that my th0ughts might differ

I'm scared that i might not give enough

I'm scared that you might not be in my thoughts

I'm scared that i might change

I'm scared that we might break

I'm scared that our forever might be over

I'm scared that you might n0t be the one

I'm scared that m scared for so many reasons

But there is this biggest fear 0f all

I'm scared that the tables might turn and those menti0ned might be your fears!

this strange thing called love

love
this is one topic that i would always fake that i don't want to discuss about. it's a cliched topic. no arguments on that one but still it's a fun topic,one hell of a common topic but every single person has different views about it. to someone it can be something as sweet as honey, just a bunch of bitter memories for someone, the sole reason to live for someone, shattered hopes for someone, a necessity for someone,a torn heart for someone, a pleasant company for someone, sheer loneliness for someone, hopes and expectations for someone, falls and crashes because of the expectations for someone; it all just depends on what you have been through during this certain thing called love. when starting to talk about love, even a layman becomes THE philosopher.
i still don't know if true love exists or not,it might or might not as well; for me it's yet to be discovered.if i had to have a say on what a successful love or supposed true love would be I'd say true love is when you would want to grow old with someone without any second thoughts and love would be successful if you are growing old together with that particular 'someone' and you still have no regrets even on the hardest times. i really don't think it's fair when two happy couples are compared to pairs like Romeo and Juliet,even when they themselves do that. you're supposed to make your own stories and not give damn about others when you're in love. the pairs you see on the mirror, that's what you really want to be and since you're already that, that's the one you want to remain. you've not really seen Juliet and Romeo discussing their future in Juliet's balcony, have you? (stop thinking about the movie,that doesn't count) so why try to follow the supposed when you have the real deal right with you.
the old couples on the park, i think they are the true romeos an Juliet's. they've conquered what they had always wanted to, they were able to fulfil their wishes of being together forever (i don't really know if that word exists for everyone). they've come a long way, together, helping each other and that is what really matters. the true happiness, the true undefeated successful love. a love that couldn't even be defeated by time.